Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship

ABUSER
  • Grew up in an abusive family
  • Gets into fights with other people besides his/her partner
  • Cruel to animals or pets
  • Believes the man should make all the decisions (women should be passive)
  • Is a possessive individual, wants control over partner's actions
  • Has a poor self-image and/or lacks self-esteem
  • Abuses drugs and/or alcohol
  • Tries to isolate or make it difficult for the victim to see family and friends
  • Does not know how to appropriately deal with stress and anger
  • May have an arrest record involving assaults
  • Destructive criticism and verbal attacks
  • Rushes victim into decisions
  • Puts victim on guilt trips
  • Interrupts, twists words
  • Lying or withholding information
  • Not sharing responsibility, not following through on agreements
  • Not giving support, suppressing feelings
  • Not taking the victims concerns seriously
  • Says the abuse does not happen; blames others for his/her actions
  • Doing things that will have negative consequences
  • Checking up on victim, making uninvited visits or calls
  • Has a Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde personality; moods changes quickly
VICTIM
  • Feels sorry for the abuser
  • More relaxed around others versus her partner
  • Assumes blame for the abuse
  • Believes she can stop the abuse and/or change her partner
  • Thinks the abuser needs her
  • Afraid to break up due to threats
  • Feels she needs the abuser (not the abuse)